That Year-End Blog Post

This year hasn't exactly been what I expected it to be. I was not at all in my happiest form when 2015 came. In addition to that, I failed on something that I have been preparing for for months. It felt like it was all going downhill from there and I needed to feel happy again that's why I dropped everything and fled back home. The decision wasn't rash. I knew what I was doing and I needed to do it.

If that unfortunate thing had not happen, I wouldn't have experienced the most mundane but precious moments that I now treasure. So, 2015 wasn't all that bad despite how it all started. I got to spend more time with my family and friends. Ticked off a lot of things on my mental bucket list.

But I have to be really honest here and say that I need to get my shit together. I'm not going to wait for 2016, I am starting now or perhaps I have already started. I have my goal and I have to work towards it. I am claiming it for real. I am desperate for change and it's about to happen.

Lol

Who am I kidding

I am not a fortune teller

Don't have a crystal ball

That Post About Warby Parker

I was thinking of words on how to describe the feeling of having a new pair of spectacles and I ended up with a long metaphor.

Your old spectacles, a relationship that you have grown into. It's comforting as you have been with it for a long while, but you know that things are bound to end and you get a new pair right after the other. Your new specs, strangely different but you know that you have to move on with your previous one. It's your rebound spectacles. Ha ha!

Don't get me wrong. I love my new pair of eyes! I met my new companion through Warby Parker. Warby Parker has been on my bookmark for ages, patiently waiting for the right time that I need to get a new pair of eyeglasses. It's basically a store for eyeglasses and sunglasses. They have a wide variety of specs and when I say wide, I mean wide (they have a monocle)!

Besides their retail stores, you can also shop through their online website. Add up to five frames to your own liking on their Home Try-On tray and they ship those five frames to you for a dollar. After 5 days of the free trial, send them back in with the return slip included in the home try-on kit. If you think you found something that you really fancy, you can purchase it on their website with your prescription attached and ta-dah, new spectacles!

I got the Holcomb Oak Barrel frame and it comes with anti-reflective coating with no extra charge. AR coating has anti-glare and it gives more comfort when you use computer for a prolonged time.

Oh and the best thing about Warby Parker is that if you purchase a pair, they donate a pair too! Check out their collection of eyeglasses and sunglasses!

Life Lessons from Mosby

Shit happens all the time. It's inevitable. So, when you find yourself in a messed up situation, do what you must to straighten it out before it goes way out of hand and wished you could have fixed it sooner.

Take it from Mosby.

A Short

On November 2011, there was a boy who noticed a girl during their first hospital rotation. You may call it love at first sight as her long black hair, loosened up after a long day in a bun, drew him in.

Months later, he made a move and sent her a box of chocolates and a bouquet of roses on Christmas day. The girl was utterly surprised and completely delighted, as she did not expect this. The girl, curious on how the boy came to like her, suggested that they remain as friends at the moment.

Before they had the chance to get to know more about each other, life had a sudden turn. Due to the changes of schedules and different set of friends, they did not see or heard from each other and time took its place.

Nearing to the end of their last year in college, their paths had crossed again! They had both grown into two different individuals, different than before, but better, a better version of themselves and more suitable for each other. The time that was lost is the time that they now have. Their friendship eventually bloomed into a beautiful relationship that none of them expected to become reality.

However, due to a darkly humorous twist in fate, the girl is to be sent seven thousand miles away from home. Crushing as that may sound, every chance that they had, they spent it together. Every second was special and not a moment was wasted.

To quote a lyric from Outkast, “Separate’s always better when there’s feelings involved.” They are now thousand of miles apart, but distance means nothing if the person is worth loving or even the pain.

Uncaptured

The moments that are most special are those not captured.

You are simply too caught up in the moment etching every single detail into your brain to serve as a pleasant reminder of the present.

The moment you see him sleeping, his skin against yours,
the rise and fall of his bare chest, the sound of his steady breathing,
his scent that you always look for when he is not around.

These are the moments uncaptured.

There Is Something More

They were talking again on a late Thursday night. Enjoying each other's company. Always eager to learn something about the other. It has been going on for months and it could have been going on for years if she only wasn't too coy. He asked her, "Is there something else that's stopping you? From 'us' being an 'us'." There was a bit of silence on the other end. "Is there?" she asked herself. The only thing that withheld her before is herself because she was unsure of it all. She knows that he likes her. He admittedly told her that a couple of years before and here he still is. Wanting her. Needing her. Asking if there could be something more between them. She was hesitant then, but the time that passed made her realise that she is certain now. She is genuinely happy and the reason behind it is no one else but him. "No, there isn't." she replied. "Then, what now?" "I'm allowing myself to be happy... with you." 

Like An Egg

You cracked her open like an egg
craving for more,
you broke her in the process,
you broke her inner core. 

No, it wasn't intentional
but damaged and wrecked she was.
And you gave her up
just because.

Use Me

You moulded me into the person that I am now
Opened my eyes into things I would have never known
You continue to nourish me
You make me capable
Use me when you think I'm ready
Use me to tend for many
I am giving in
Use me

Skype Goodbyes

I stare at your face
Close enough to see your pixelated skin
Our brief goodbyes said
And virtual kisses sent
When all has been expressed
We know it's bound to end
Lost connection
No tears shed
Solely a part that's missing you
Longing to see you again

I am my father's daughter.

Have the thought of being adopted ever came to you? You may have thought about it seriously or it may have only been a random thought in your head while in the shower or while doing the dishes. But then a moment comes and you'll say to yourself "No, I am definitely his/hers."

I had that moment last summer. It was a still morning. My dad and I were in the dining area, each with a hot cup of coffee and a coffee spoon. I was lost in oblivion, staring blankly at whatever it was I laid my eyes on. I was mindlessly stirring my hot coffee and occasionally, I would spoon a coffee and pour it back on my cup. I did this repeatedly. When I realized that my coffee wasn't that hot anymore, I snapped back into reality and looked at my father who was sitting next to me. He was apparently still lost in his own world. He was spooning his coffee and was keenly watching the coffee pour like I did.

Two things I realized about myself:

(1) I only argue with people who I know that no matter how much I unconsciously push them away, they will understand me and still be there for me. These are the people who endures my stubbornness but still stays because they care.
(2) If I'm friends with you and I don’t argue with you, it only means that I value our friendship so much that I don’t want to rock our boat. Our friendship is too fragile for me to argue with you that losing you will cause me sadness.

Does this even makes sense

~deep~ thoughts

Everyday is starting to be somewhat a routine again. A day comes by, with slightly different tasks, but it all seems to feel the same. Like how my life was like four years ago. When all I could dream about was to be in a different place, doing things that was anything but the ones I was doing in the present. I wonder if I will ever be contented with my life, that within a span of four to five years… what? I’ll just drop off everything that I have and live some place else all because I was getting weary of my daily routine? I can’t live like that. I need something in life to make me not want to leave a place and just love waking up in the morning because even if everything seems to be the same, there is that something that will make life more interesting and breath taking.

Horrible.

You must have been an interesting person to have left an impression on me that I can remember your name without having to ask you twice (or even at all), because I'm the type of person who forgets a name after hearing it for 5 seconds and when people greet me by my first/last name, I just stand there with a smile and a Hello because I (for Snape's stake) cannot remember your name. I'm a horrible person.

I miss traveling.

I miss the airport. the aircraft. the shitty plane food they serve. the window seat. the top view of the city by night. the clouds. the stewardess' cute uniforms. watching a movie while everyone's fast asleep. the lil paper bag you vomit on when you get airsick. the awfully long time you spend waiting. the lavatory. that button you press when you need assistance. the person behind you snoring loudly. And seeing the passengers looking prettified before the flight and looking like zombies after the flight.